This "guppie" starting to LOVE swimming!

When I did my first triathlon, a sprint distance at Devil's Lake, in 2003, I swore I would never do it again. It was the most awful experience. The 400 meter swim about killed me! I had never been good at swimming, and to prepare for the race, I plundered through a few yards in the pool at the club.
The morning of the race, the weather conditions were horrible. It was in the upper 40's and raining. Having to wait 45 minutes for my wave to start, I was already hypothermic when I entered the water. I was shivering with the cold, my teeth were chattering, and my feet and fingers were numb. The cold, spring-fed lake took my breath away. I could not put my face in the water. The lake was choppy, and all I wanted to do was get back out before I died. I dog paddled my way to the first buey and thought, "This is nuts. I need to get out! Maybe those nice people in the boat will haul my butt out of this damned water!!" The nice people looked at me, didn't say anything, and gave me a strange look. Maybe I was hallucinating at that point, but I interpreted their look to mean, "Look at this chick. It's only a 400 meter swim and she wants to get out already? What a woosie!" I got MAD...and I did everything I could, WITHOUT putting my face in the water, to finish that swim. I did dog paddle, side stroke, and back stroke...which was mainly floating on my back and gasping for air. When I FINALLY stumbled onto the shore, I looked at my watch and was stunned to discover that it took me almost 14 minutes to do that swim. It truly felt like an hour! Of course, almost 14 minutes for a 400 m swim is less then stellar. (My friend Susan, who is a gifted swimmer, can swim 1000 m in less time!) By the time I got on my bike, I was wrecked. I was nauseated, numb from cold, and had a headache. The first mile of the bike is an uphill climb. I got off my bike and pushed. I did this two other times during that ride. Then came the run. YES....my strength! I had nothing left. It was more of a slow jog, but at least I was still upright! I finished the race...and I said, "NEVER AGAIN!!"
But, like childbirth...again with the pregnancy analogy...the pain is not forgotten, but muted by the love and joy of the experience. I wanted to do it again! My dream of participating in Ironman was just starting to form. This week marks the 5th anniversary of my ruptured Cerebral AVM. My plans to run a fall marathon and pursuit triathlon were put on hold, indefinitely.
After my Craniotomy, my neurosurgeon strongly discouraged me from participating in triathlon. There was, and apparently still is, a risk for seizures as a result of the surgery and the presence of the two remaining CAVM's. He worried less about running and cycling, although these were still issues. But, he said, "If something happens in the water, especially during a mass swim, you may not get noticed until it is too late". That scared me enough to put me off for awhile! However, after a couple of years without any seizures and having successfully completed a few marathons, the triathlon bug had bitten again. I wanted to go for it. I rationalized about the slight risk, and held true to my general philosophy of life. There is a risk to every choice we make, to every step that carries us forward. In most cases, it is more than worth it!
Two years ago, Susan encouraged me to join her Master's swim class. She thought it would be good for me to swim with a knowledgeable coach as well as other swimmers. The class is divided according to ability, with lane 1 being the rock star lane....Susan is in this lane, and lane 6 being the beginners. I quickly started calling it the "guppie lane". There were only 2 or 3 people in the guppie lane, and I was buy far the worst! The first day, it took me the whole 75 minutes to kick...with a board...200 meters!!! :-O I would kick, and not move forward at all! Jerry, the coach, looked at me....and shook his head and laughed!! That's all is took. I was determined to learn how to swim!!!
A few weeks ago, Jerry moved me out of guppie lane. It took me TWO YEARS to get out of guppie lane. I want to go back, but Jerry is not letting me. He says, "It's time to start pushing you." I'm having a very hard time keeping up with the other swimmers in my lane. I've gone back to feeling like I did on that first day. But when I look back at where I started, and the SLOW and painful improvements I have made over this time, I feel very proud! It's still very frustrating, I'm still fairly slow, but I'm feeling much stronger and more comfortable in the water. My endurance is MUCH better! And there are times, much like the runner's high that I sometimes feel, that I think, "yes, this is it. I could swim forever!" I'm finding my bliss in the water.
Enjoy this day! :-)

60 days.....

On Monday I was reminded that there were 60 days left until IM. These were my immediate thoughts:
"Holy Crap!!!!!"
"I will never be ready!"
"What was I thinking signing up for this?"
"I'm soooooo tired"
"My shoulder hurts....so does my foot.....and hamstring...."
"I'm hungry!!"
Then I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I realized I was....as one of my friends call it..."Stinky Thinking". So I preceded to change the direction of my thoughts:
"YEAH! I can't wait!"
"A few more weeks and I WILL be ready"
"I will sleep so good tonight!"
"Just tweaks that will work themselves out"
"McFlurry anyone?"

58 days. The speed with which time passes will never cease to amaze me.
Enjoy this day! :-)

The training goes on....

To continue with the pregnancy theme from the last post, I've been drawing parallels between training for IM and having a baby. During the last 7 months, I've experienced many similar feelings related to a pregnancy. The first trimester was very exciting with the realization that I was officially signed up for the race of my life! I also felt a little sick every time I thought about it. :-0 The second trimester, I was in my happy place. I was training for the marathon,(my very favorite thing to do! :-)), along with biking and swimming at a fairly reasonable volume. I am now in the middle of that last trimester and it is starting to get uncomfortable. Last week was the highest number of hours I have ever spent moving this old body. The totals are: Bike-120 miles, swim-7500 meters, run-34 miles, resistance and core work....only 45 minutes(I had no stamina for more!), for a total of 17 hours. And just like the expanding belly of a pregnant Mom at this stage, it will just keep growing and growing until the end!!! I'm holding up pretty well for the most part. Fatigue is becoming a major factor in what I've been calling the "isolation phase" I've had to make some difficult choices in other areas of life, mainly socially. I've turned into that old lady who goes to bed while it's still light out, and stays at home while everyone else is out playing. I simply don't have the energy for it. But it's ok, I know it's temporary, and it really is helping me stay "above water" so to speak. I just hope my friends and family will still be speaking to me after this is over! On the positive side, there times I feel so strong! My times are improving slighly, but my stamina is really improving! So far, I've not gotten sick or injured which is definately a risk at this point. I'm very pleased with how it is going so far, but I can also see where....just like a Mom ready to give birth....I will be ready for this to be over. For now, I'm taking it one day at a time, always hoping to make it through another workout with my mind, body and spirit intact.
Enjoy this day!

Happy 20th birthday Rachel!

Exactly 20 years ago today, I was larger than life! Seriously. I was pregnant with our first daughter and the due date was over a week away. I was soooooo ready to be done. The summer heat was getting to me, and like most women at this stage of pregnancy, I was swollen, crabby, and uncomfortable. That night I was with my family playing poker, as we usually did on summer Saturday nights, when at 9 pm my water broke. YEAH!! I was going to have a baby!!!! Since I wasn't having contractions, we continued to play cards for another few hours. And yes, you guessed it....I started winning!!
Then I started whining. No real contractions yet, but just ready to get this going. To the hospital we went!
She was born at 9:17 PM....the next day. The Milwaukee Lakefront Fireworks were just starting to go off...or so I was told by my Mother later. It's an understatement to say that it was a very LONG day. Of course it was worth every painful moment! She was so beautiful and healthy, and priceless. She was the first grandchild for both sets of parents and everyone was so thrilled at her arrival. Now, 20 years later, we are all talking in cliches. "Can you believe it's been 20 years? Time really flies, doesn't it? It seems like just yesterday....." But it's all so true. Looking at Rachel today, at how beautiful, intelligent, intensely loving and compassionate she is, I realize that she is the embodiment of all the hopes and dreams that we've had for her since the very first time we saw her. On a day like today, on the eve of her 20th birthday and just a couple of weeks prior to Robyn's golden birthday on the 18th, I'm reminded of how incredibly blessed I am.
Happy Birthday Rachel! My love for you is without limits. It's immeasurable, timeless, and without boundaries. It is forever.
Enjoy this day, and Happy 4th of July everyone!