"I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason..." ~ "For Good" from the musical "Wicked".
I am such a musical geek. I've seen Wicked four times, and this is my favorite song. I cry almost every time I hear it. Not just because the words resonate with me and I'm such a sentimental wuss, but I'm also drawn to a memory of Rachel and Robyn singing this duet at a recital a few years ago. I was reduced to a blubbering, sobbing mess when I heard them. They were brilliant! (A non-biased opinion of course! ;-))
The words of the song make me think about how I can apply them to many people who have crossed my path during my life. It is so amazing to me how much some of these people have influenced and changed the course and the direction in which I was traveling. Is it fate, or is it chance? I believe it's fate, but also, that we have control over the choices that we make in response to these relationships and their affect on us. (One of the important lessons that we try to impart on our Girls on the Run group!)
A few weeks ago, I met an old friend Ginney, for lunch. We had not seen each other in 27 years! We were best friends for awhile in high school. We met during a play called "The Admirable Crichton" As fate would have it, that's when I first met Mike. He was in the play as well. He was a senior, I was a junior, and she, along with my brother Larry, were sophomores. She was a really good actress, and Mike was great...and hysterical! The play was an English comedy...and it was a BUST! Nobody understood the humor, and the only people who would even attempt an English accent were Mike and Ginney. The ONLY laugh we got was when Mike ad-libbed and did some crazy dance during a scene. And...this is the God's honest truth....my Mother said after the play, "He is it for you and that's who you will marry!" I thought she had lost her mind. "We are JUST FRIENDS!", I said. She said, "Ugh huh, okay?". She reminds me of this conversation quite often! ;-)
We were all friends by the end of the play. We were one big geaky group of theater dorks and we had the BEST time! Ginney and I became really close, and Mike was so sweet, and funny, and generous, and beyond smart. But, he was...well...a geak!! And I had a crush on Ray Gibbs, who was the Admirable Crichton. He was tall, dark, charming, a football player, and also hilarious. He and Mike were friends before the play, and boy was Ray MAD that Mike was getting all the laughs!
It was prom season, and I was waiting for Ray to ask me to go. Mike asked me instead. Apparently he had a bit of a crush on me! :-O But....I wanted to go with Ray! I said no. He then asked Ginney, who said yes. Ray asked someone else. Guess who sat home on prom night eating 1/2 gallon of ice cream in my PJ's? :-S
A few weeks before prom, my fickle 16 year old mind began to feel a bit differently towards Mike. He was really kind of handsome in a geaky sort of way, and he was amazingly sweet. I was falling hard and the feeling was mutual. The day after prom, he came over and asked me out. That was May 7th, 1983, the day of our first kiss. I wonder how many there have been since? :-)
Ginney and I remained friends after that, and during my senior year, she played Abby and I played Martha in "Arsenic and Old Lace". Larry even joined us in the play and again we had the best time! But after I graduated, Ginney and I lost touch, as happens so often when lives and interests change. Last summer, my brother saw Ginney at their High School reunion. They talked and she asked about me and how I was doing. She was amazed that Mike and I were still together! And....she's a runner!! She's done a few marathons and is itching to do more. She is married, has a wonderful career, and a few well-loved pooches. We connected on Facebook and made plans to meet.
I was NERVOUS! So much has happened during the time that we were together last. I was willing my fuzzy brain to remember how it was, what our dynamic was like, what SHE was like. When I saw her, I was so impressed. She seriously looked amazing! She was beautiful and looked BETTER than in high school. After exchanging hugs and greetings, we started talking...and didn't stop for 3 hours! I can't say the memories came flooding back, and it was sort of strange for me. I felt like she was a distant, but familiar stranger that I was just getting to know again. It was intimidating how articulate and smart she was. I was struggling with a fuzzy brain day and was having a hard time conveying my thoughts and feelings in the right way. So frustrating! However, after I relaxed, and we poured over our high school year book, and the conversation turned to running, the fog cleared. 3 hours later, we were making plans to meet at Crazy Legs, which she will be in town for.
On the drive home, I was thinking about all the friends that have come and gone, and how my life had changed as a direct result of haven known them. I became a little sad. Why is it so hard to maintain these friendships that, in the moment, are so important and meaningful? Will all of my friends, that I love to pieces and are in my life right now continue to be with me 10 years from now? I though of my friend Jenny, who I worked with years ago at the hospital, and all that we experienced together at that time. She dared me to run Crazy Legs in 2002, when I couldn't run more than 2 miles. She was there for my first marathon. She made me volunteer with her at this insane event called Ironman Wisconsin. She now has 3 young children and I haven't seen her in two years.
I thought of Theresa, by best friend during my "horsey" years. We shared everything horse related, took lessons together, went to shows and clinics. She even had her horse at our place for a few years. After I started running seriously and she moved her horse to a different barn, we lost our connection. I haven't seen her for a few years.
I thought about Mike. He alone is the one person, other than family, that has been with me since I've been 16 years old. We are both VERY different than we were back in our geaky drama days. How is it that this relationship continues despite all of the years, and challenges, and differences in interests and outlook? At times it has been a struggle for us to stay connected since the girls are up and out, and we seem to lead two very different lives. We talk about this all the time. We do what we've always done...realize that what we love and are committed to takes work to maintain. It takes sacrifice and understanding. It's this way with all of our relationships, whether it be with our family, friends, pets, jobs, and interests. And the biggest challenge that I always come back to....time. There is never enough of it, and that alone forces me to make choices and set priorities. Unfortunately, relationships fall victim to the choices I make. There is only so much time...
Mike and I leave today to visit Rachel in CT. I should be packing right now, but my mind has been filled with these thoughts for awhile and I needed to purge. My next post will be about Rachel time and Beluga's!!
Enjoy this day! :-)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Balance
Which way are the scales tipping today? The never-ending struggle to fit it all in, be it physically, spiritually, emotionally, continues. Losing an hour for daylight savings does not help when life is down to minutes! I am not complaining, really I'm not. The juggling act is my own creation and the choices are mine alone. Yes, things happen that threaten to tip the scales, things out of my control happen all the time. The art of finding balance comes from learning to adjust, to lean in another direction when the 50 mph wind threatens to blow you over.
I said to a friend the other day, "It feels like the entire world is shaking" We were talking about all that has been going on, not only in our city, state and at work, but with our friends and family. Two beautiful people in my life are struggling with cancer. This weighs heavy on my heart. How ironic to wake up Friday morning with the images and stories all over the news about the huge earthquake in Japan and the Tsunami that followed. The devastation, the lives lost....so surreal. The earth is indeed shaking.
For this blog, I'm going to be selfish and write about my own world. The original intent of these postings were to talk about my racing and training, and to raise awareness for HHT. Obviously there is more going on outside my own personal bubble that seems to take on more importance. But today, I'm being egocentric. The more important stuff of life, for the moment, will remain in my periphery.
Up until January of this year, I have been self coached, with more than a bit of help from my running/triathlete friends. This year,I took my training down a different path and joined a multisport team, BBMC. Blake Becker is a pro triathlete that I met a few years ago through a co-worker. I had considered hiring him at the time to personally coach me through my first attempt at Ironman. I had a really hard time deciding if this was the direction I should go. I was really apprehensive about giving up control over my training, and wondering if this young guy could really help this middle-aged triathlete wannabe with more than a few issues! Then there was the cost...we just couldn't swing it. So I decided to continue on my own. Of course, I didn't finish IM 2009 on my own....there are so many people that helped my cross that finish line. Especially my angel Katie, who developed my training plan, trained with me, and ended up knowing how my body was responding better that I did! I've always told her she should become a coach. She decided get pregnant with twins instead! :-)
Blake and I re-connected through Facebook last summer, and he graciously helped me a bit with my training for Pigman. His input and advice was so helpful, and he's more than a little responsible for my best triathlon performance so far. When he told me that he was putting together a team for this season, I was so excited! I felt it would be the ideal situation for me. I would get the benefit of group training along with Blake's support. And I really liked Blake's plan to include friends and family whenever possible, realizing how important and beneficial their support can be.
But I was still nervous. I only knew Blake, and Julie, who is one of Blake's athletes that I met at Masters swim. The team would consist of up to 30 athletes, and we had the opportunity to join group runs, cycling classes, and a team swim. GULP!! All of my insecurities and negative brain chatter were rearing their ugly heads. How would I ever manage to keep up with everyone? Would this be too much for this increasingly creaky body? Would the TRX classes...aka..."torture" classes that Blake recommends KILL me?? (;-)) Again, over and over I come to this place. I love this sport so much! How far can I go? Am I willing to step WAY out of my comfort zone and take a different approach to my training?
We started team training in January. So far, I am smitten! I'm getting to know some really great people. I've learned that they come from varied athletic backgrounds....some new to the sport, and others very seasoned athletes who have been doing this for years, and still others who are making a return to triathlon after some time away. I've learned that although this still feels new to me, I really have been at this awhile and have a bit more experience than I allow myself to recognize. I am leaning that every training session, I learn even more. And I am surviving TRX....BARELY!! ;-)
It has been challenging in a few ways. The group training and TRX classes are done on the west side of Madison, so I'm having to drive 30 minutes one way, several times a week. Definitely eats up a ton of time...and GAS! :-O While the training volume isn't too bad yet, the intensity of the workouts has increased a few notches. In preparation for the Green Bay Marathon, only two months away, my running mileage has increased. And something VERY different for me...the group Sunday afternoon swim AFTER my long Sunday morning runs! Lordy, there have only been a few of these so far, but they are hard!! Blake has been very encouraging and insist that these swims will help my legs recover faster. So far, I do NOT feel this during those swims!
Interestingly, my legs, pelvis, and hips DO feel better...Monday morning anyway! They are still not very happy on Sunday night, but I seem to be recovered enough to get in a quality group run on Tuesday nights. This morning was my first 12 miler in many months. I was already tired from this weeks training, and I didn't have high hopes that it would go well. It went....very well!! It started out slow as usual, and I felt soooo stiff. At mile 5 I was to run for 60 minutes at 15 seconds faster than marathon pace. I thought, "no way", but I will do my best. It was even better. I couldn't believe it!! Again...so grateful.
I decided to forgo the group swim for today. The winds were blowing, and I needed to lean a different way. Mike and I have a very busy week ahead. On Friday he will leave and be gone for over a week. Today is our one day together, and we will spend the rest of our Sunday uninterrupted!
Balance...it takes constant work to maintain, but completely worth the effort :-)
Enjoy this day!
I said to a friend the other day, "It feels like the entire world is shaking" We were talking about all that has been going on, not only in our city, state and at work, but with our friends and family. Two beautiful people in my life are struggling with cancer. This weighs heavy on my heart. How ironic to wake up Friday morning with the images and stories all over the news about the huge earthquake in Japan and the Tsunami that followed. The devastation, the lives lost....so surreal. The earth is indeed shaking.
For this blog, I'm going to be selfish and write about my own world. The original intent of these postings were to talk about my racing and training, and to raise awareness for HHT. Obviously there is more going on outside my own personal bubble that seems to take on more importance. But today, I'm being egocentric. The more important stuff of life, for the moment, will remain in my periphery.
Up until January of this year, I have been self coached, with more than a bit of help from my running/triathlete friends. This year,I took my training down a different path and joined a multisport team, BBMC. Blake Becker is a pro triathlete that I met a few years ago through a co-worker. I had considered hiring him at the time to personally coach me through my first attempt at Ironman. I had a really hard time deciding if this was the direction I should go. I was really apprehensive about giving up control over my training, and wondering if this young guy could really help this middle-aged triathlete wannabe with more than a few issues! Then there was the cost...we just couldn't swing it. So I decided to continue on my own. Of course, I didn't finish IM 2009 on my own....there are so many people that helped my cross that finish line. Especially my angel Katie, who developed my training plan, trained with me, and ended up knowing how my body was responding better that I did! I've always told her she should become a coach. She decided get pregnant with twins instead! :-)
Blake and I re-connected through Facebook last summer, and he graciously helped me a bit with my training for Pigman. His input and advice was so helpful, and he's more than a little responsible for my best triathlon performance so far. When he told me that he was putting together a team for this season, I was so excited! I felt it would be the ideal situation for me. I would get the benefit of group training along with Blake's support. And I really liked Blake's plan to include friends and family whenever possible, realizing how important and beneficial their support can be.
But I was still nervous. I only knew Blake, and Julie, who is one of Blake's athletes that I met at Masters swim. The team would consist of up to 30 athletes, and we had the opportunity to join group runs, cycling classes, and a team swim. GULP!! All of my insecurities and negative brain chatter were rearing their ugly heads. How would I ever manage to keep up with everyone? Would this be too much for this increasingly creaky body? Would the TRX classes...aka..."torture" classes that Blake recommends KILL me?? (;-)) Again, over and over I come to this place. I love this sport so much! How far can I go? Am I willing to step WAY out of my comfort zone and take a different approach to my training?
We started team training in January. So far, I am smitten! I'm getting to know some really great people. I've learned that they come from varied athletic backgrounds....some new to the sport, and others very seasoned athletes who have been doing this for years, and still others who are making a return to triathlon after some time away. I've learned that although this still feels new to me, I really have been at this awhile and have a bit more experience than I allow myself to recognize. I am leaning that every training session, I learn even more. And I am surviving TRX....BARELY!! ;-)
It has been challenging in a few ways. The group training and TRX classes are done on the west side of Madison, so I'm having to drive 30 minutes one way, several times a week. Definitely eats up a ton of time...and GAS! :-O While the training volume isn't too bad yet, the intensity of the workouts has increased a few notches. In preparation for the Green Bay Marathon, only two months away, my running mileage has increased. And something VERY different for me...the group Sunday afternoon swim AFTER my long Sunday morning runs! Lordy, there have only been a few of these so far, but they are hard!! Blake has been very encouraging and insist that these swims will help my legs recover faster. So far, I do NOT feel this during those swims!
Interestingly, my legs, pelvis, and hips DO feel better...Monday morning anyway! They are still not very happy on Sunday night, but I seem to be recovered enough to get in a quality group run on Tuesday nights. This morning was my first 12 miler in many months. I was already tired from this weeks training, and I didn't have high hopes that it would go well. It went....very well!! It started out slow as usual, and I felt soooo stiff. At mile 5 I was to run for 60 minutes at 15 seconds faster than marathon pace. I thought, "no way", but I will do my best. It was even better. I couldn't believe it!! Again...so grateful.
I decided to forgo the group swim for today. The winds were blowing, and I needed to lean a different way. Mike and I have a very busy week ahead. On Friday he will leave and be gone for over a week. Today is our one day together, and we will spend the rest of our Sunday uninterrupted!
Balance...it takes constant work to maintain, but completely worth the effort :-)
Enjoy this day!
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