"Brutal Wind". That's what the headline read at the top of the May 16th, 2011 edition of the Green Bay Press-Gazette. The wind speeds during the race were 26-32mph with gusts up to 40mph, with air temps in the 40's. While the winds were definitely news-worthy, conditions could have been much worse. The weather the day before included the same strong wind, but with a cold rain just to make things a tad more miserable. Given my ever-increasing inability to handle the cold, I'm not sure I would have been able to finish the marathon under those conditions on top of everything else. I was so grateful to see the bright sun on Sunday morning!
Thankfully, I did finish the marathon. It's number 12 for me, and even writing that number seems surreal. Number 12!! And I would have to say it was the 3rd hardest marathon I've run. It felt similar to my first one...Grandma's in 2003, and my first Boston in 2008 in terms of the physical pain I was in. (The marathon during IM Wisconsin is in truth, the toughest for VERY different reasons! Like the proverbial comparing apples to oranges, running 26.2 after a 2.4 mile swim and 112 mile bike is completely different!;-))
I can't even blame my ankle for the painful performance. I babied it all week, and is slowly improved enough to be able to run on it by Friday. Ironically, swimming aggravated it the most! It really hurt to kick. I had no flexibility in the joint at all. When I walked, I wore an ace compression sock and that really helped to support it. When I ran on Friday, I didn't have much pain, but it was very stiff, and my left leg felt weak, while my right leg felt fatigued. I had been loading that leg all week. My form was totally off. Uh Oh!
So, what to do? Another game-day decision. My sister Michelle, and my friends Dana, Cathy, Kristy and I eagerly looked forward to out GB girly weekend and we left Friday afternoon. Dana, Cathy, and Kristy were running the half, and Michelle was our cheerleader, and my angel. When we arrived at our hotel, and stepped outside and felt the cold "breeze", I thought to myself again..."Uh Oh...". Then we all looked at each other..and said it out loud!
Saturday brought more wind and rain. It also brought MAJOR carb loading, shopping, girl talk, just a little wine, and sharing, "The Spirit of the Marathon" movie. YES, I cried...but only a little. I'm such a sap! My ankle was elevated and iced. For the first time, I did not run my usual two miles the day before.
Sunday morning. Full sun. Temps in the low 40's. Winds whipping like Hell. Ankle good enough to start. More tears, more then usual. Uh oh....
The first two miles were irritating. The record crowds created bottle necking as runners weaved their way through the residential streets. I was so anxious about my ankle and taking a misstep, so I ran very slowly and carefully. It finally cleared out a bit between miles 2 and 3. It was then that I noted something strange, and it was actually amusing at first. Apparently, EVERYONE wears a Garmen or other GPS/timing device! They were all blaring in a symphony of bleeps, chimes, vibrations, and alarms at roughly the same time at every mile split. At mile 4, I noted that the devices were "singing" about 1/4 mile before the posted mile markers. I wondered if we were ALL weaving back and forth over the straight line of the measured course so much that we were already 1/4 mile ahead of the mile markers?
I started taking in shot blocks early, with my first one at mile 5. This is early for me, and I think it helped me avoid a repeat of the 2009 "wobbles by mile 8". Miles 7-13 felt the best. The winds to that point, other than a few turns into them, were to our backs. That helped keep my pace at around 8:30, which is where I wanted to be. A few of the earlier miles were near 8:10's, and I really needed to back off. I knew that I really needed to save my energy. I knew this course. This was my 3rd time running it. I knew the direction the wind was coming from. I knew what was in store for me on the trail. And the pain in my hips, pelvis, and lower back had started around mile 10. "Uh oh...".
The turn into the wind was indeed brutal. The course then takes you over a long bridge over the Fox River. The winds were so strong, I was literally running in place, with very little forward movement. Some of the cross winds felt like they were taking my feet right out from under me. After crossing that bridge, I began to struggle both physically and mentally. Ironically, my ankle was holding up just fine. It was everything else, and that wind. I felt like I hit the wall with 10 miles to go. Not a great place to be. I tried my usual positive self talk, even tried to joke with myself! "At least I'm not biking in this!". I don't have to POOP...YEAH!". "The wind is keeping the hair out of my eyes!". "I'm shivering from excitement...NOT cold!". It wasn't working.
I was checking my Garmen, and my pace was falling off. And I didn't care, I just wanted to be done. I had high expectations going into this race. My training has been awesome. I've seen paces I haven't seen for 4 years. I had a great race at Crazy Legs. I had a certain finishing time in my dream of dreams for this race. I was certainly well rested...or was I? Physically...maybe, with the forced time off of running. But mentally? My high expectations, my stress over the ankle, and the letting go of the grip I had on the reason I do all of this in the first place.
At mile 22, at last we were able to to turn away from the wind. It was a relief, and I was thankful for it, but I was wrecked. My stomach was starting to go, and looking back, I again did not take in enough calories. My Garmen at this point was blaring over 1/2 mile before the mile markers, and that was making me crazy! Finally...I made it to Lambeau Field! I saw my girls cheering for me and that gave me wings! Despite all of the pain, I still LOVED running through the stadium! I did NOT love having to stop in the chute during yet another bottle neck of runners! :-(
I crossed the finish line in 3:54:04. Unbelievably, because I turn 45 in this year I qualified for Boston. I needed 4:00. I found out that the BAA will lower the times by 5 minutes for the 2013 Boston Marathon!
But wait! The story is not over. It turns out that enough people complained about the discrepancy in the measured distance vs the GPS devices. The race director decided to investigate, and discovered that a wrong turn was made early on in the marathon. This added an extra 800 feet. They adjusted our times, using some formula...I have NO idea how they figured this out...and subtracted 1:40 minutes from my time. My official finishing time...3:52:44. I'll take it and be grateful! It was a PR for me in terms of distance. My Garmen read, 26.82 miles! :-O
"In sport, pain and suffering are choices, and anyone who complains about their choices needs to make a different choice" ~ Angela Naeth
It may not be my choice to have HHT, or osteoarthritis, or to be the genetic opposite of athletically gifted, or to be female and 45 years old. But it is my choice to pursuit this sport. No one is forcing me, in fact quite the contrary. It is my choice to look at these seeming "limitations" positively. It is my choice to grip more tenaciously to the reason I do this. I simply love it, and I love how what I do can positively influence others. (Refer to the end of the last post! :-))
As I hobbled out to the car back at the hotel, getting ready for the long drive home, a young lady on the passenger side of a parked car watched me do the "post marathon shuffle". She asked, "How did it go for you?" I replied, "Not great, that WIND was awful and I felt like crap...but I finished! Did you run the half or the full?"
"I ran the full. It was my first one"
Congratulations! Good for you!! And with these terrible winds, you should be so proud of yourself!"
It was then that I noticed her right ankle encased in ice.
"What happened?", I asked.
I sprained my ankle at mile 10. I had to limp the last 6 miles, I couldn't run. I'm on my way to get it x-rayed". She was wearing her metal.
My pity party was immediately over.
The next race...The Triterium on June 19th. My first tri of the season!!! :-D Bring it!!!
Enjoy this day!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Denial
I'll start this blog with gratitude first, then will try to stay as positive as I can for the duration of the post. Warning: there may be a bit of whining involved.
As I sit here with ice on my left ankle, I am grateful that the marathon is one week from this moment. I am grateful that in the two hours since I rolled it pushing my wheel barrel full of horse poop, the pain and swelling have stopped increasing. I am grateful that my last thought before the swearing began was, "I am so happy...the horses look so beautiful in the green pasture, I should get my camera!". Then...BAM!! And that's life. I am trying desperately to keep the irritation and frustration at a minimum, and to not beat myself up too badly over yet again, an incredibly stupid move on my part! :-(
10 days ago, I had another, "BAM!!" moment during the warm up of my TRX class. As I was doing a crunch, I felt a pop in my upper neck. Within a few minutes the back spasms started. The smart thing would have been to get the Hell out of there and take care of it. My stubbornness won over intelligence and I continued on with the class, hoping it would work itself out. Denial. One strategy I use to cope with the "BAM" moments in my life is to tell myself, "It's not too bad. It will work itself out" (It's that strategy that kept me from going to the hospital until the third day after my aneurysm. Apparently I still have a bit to learn, and as stated here before, I am a work in progress!) On that day, I thought, "I refuse to admit that I'm too old and uncoordinated for TRX!!" The inner dialog at this moment is this, "The pop I felt in my ankle is just a tweak. The ice will help, I am able to bear weight, and it will be fine by my run on Tuesday". Thankfully, this "head in the sand" approach seems to work for me more often than it doesn't. :-D
By the afternoon after TRX, I couldn't turn my head. My first race of the season, Crazy Legs, in which I had high hopes of breaking 40 minutes was in 3 days! UGH!!! To the doctor I went. Lots of ice and and a new appreciation for the term "Valium Hangover", and in 3 days I was good enough to attempt running. I found as long as I didn't turn my head, the spasms stayed relatively quiet. I ran Crazy Legs in 39:20!! It was a tough one for me. Shorter races are always challenging as it typically takes me that long to warm up! I ran for 20 minutes before the start to test my back and warm up the legs. The weather was sunny and cool, but very windy. Miles 3-4 were dead into the wind, and I was really feeling the pace in my stomach. Again, typical for me. I kept checking my watch and knew that I'd be close. Then I saw my team mate Randy, who of course was already finished, and that gave me the steam to finish strong! WHOO HOO!! I was so happy!
When I saw my Mom cross the finish line after her first race ever, I felt that same feeling I got with my Girls on the Run. I was so proud of her! She really stepped outside of her comfort zone to do this with me. She has had a spinal fusion with chronic back and hip pain, and numbness in her leg. She also has HHT and deals with GI bleeding. She has watched me over the past 9 years, do what I do, and says I inspire her. (She's my Mom, she HAS to say that! ;-)) She has gone from walking for 1/2 mile, to walking 6 miles most days a week. She spends hours upon hours in the summer swimming in her lake. And now she can relate even more to what I've been conveying for the past 9 years. She got it. She felt the passion and love. She discovered the drive, the need to keep moving forward despite the pain. It did not take her long to talk about how she can be even faster next year. YES, she wants to do it again!! And this time, she will know the course and not wonder where the heck she is going!! ;-) Her brother, my "UB", walked the two miles easily, and vowed to run the whole 8K next year. He too has had multiple back surgeries, and is severely affected by having HHT. His lung involvement makes life, at times, very challenging for him. And yet over the past year, he has walked many, many miles at a pace that is difficult to keep up with! Again, I felt the joy and fulfillment that comes from witnessing someone you love discover their own bliss, in a way they never thought possible.
The neck pain and back spasms have subsided. The new pain in my ankle will go away, hopefully in time for Green Bay. But the feeling in my heart, the excitement I felt when I saw my Mom come into Camp Randal Stadium, when I saw my UB and auntie LiLi sitting in the stands waiting for me, will stay in there tucked away with all of the other priceless moments I have experienced. There is no denying that! :-D
Happy Mother's Day....enjoy it!!
As I sit here with ice on my left ankle, I am grateful that the marathon is one week from this moment. I am grateful that in the two hours since I rolled it pushing my wheel barrel full of horse poop, the pain and swelling have stopped increasing. I am grateful that my last thought before the swearing began was, "I am so happy...the horses look so beautiful in the green pasture, I should get my camera!". Then...BAM!! And that's life. I am trying desperately to keep the irritation and frustration at a minimum, and to not beat myself up too badly over yet again, an incredibly stupid move on my part! :-(
10 days ago, I had another, "BAM!!" moment during the warm up of my TRX class. As I was doing a crunch, I felt a pop in my upper neck. Within a few minutes the back spasms started. The smart thing would have been to get the Hell out of there and take care of it. My stubbornness won over intelligence and I continued on with the class, hoping it would work itself out. Denial. One strategy I use to cope with the "BAM" moments in my life is to tell myself, "It's not too bad. It will work itself out" (It's that strategy that kept me from going to the hospital until the third day after my aneurysm. Apparently I still have a bit to learn, and as stated here before, I am a work in progress!) On that day, I thought, "I refuse to admit that I'm too old and uncoordinated for TRX!!" The inner dialog at this moment is this, "The pop I felt in my ankle is just a tweak. The ice will help, I am able to bear weight, and it will be fine by my run on Tuesday". Thankfully, this "head in the sand" approach seems to work for me more often than it doesn't. :-D
By the afternoon after TRX, I couldn't turn my head. My first race of the season, Crazy Legs, in which I had high hopes of breaking 40 minutes was in 3 days! UGH!!! To the doctor I went. Lots of ice and and a new appreciation for the term "Valium Hangover", and in 3 days I was good enough to attempt running. I found as long as I didn't turn my head, the spasms stayed relatively quiet. I ran Crazy Legs in 39:20!! It was a tough one for me. Shorter races are always challenging as it typically takes me that long to warm up! I ran for 20 minutes before the start to test my back and warm up the legs. The weather was sunny and cool, but very windy. Miles 3-4 were dead into the wind, and I was really feeling the pace in my stomach. Again, typical for me. I kept checking my watch and knew that I'd be close. Then I saw my team mate Randy, who of course was already finished, and that gave me the steam to finish strong! WHOO HOO!! I was so happy!
When I saw my Mom cross the finish line after her first race ever, I felt that same feeling I got with my Girls on the Run. I was so proud of her! She really stepped outside of her comfort zone to do this with me. She has had a spinal fusion with chronic back and hip pain, and numbness in her leg. She also has HHT and deals with GI bleeding. She has watched me over the past 9 years, do what I do, and says I inspire her. (She's my Mom, she HAS to say that! ;-)) She has gone from walking for 1/2 mile, to walking 6 miles most days a week. She spends hours upon hours in the summer swimming in her lake. And now she can relate even more to what I've been conveying for the past 9 years. She got it. She felt the passion and love. She discovered the drive, the need to keep moving forward despite the pain. It did not take her long to talk about how she can be even faster next year. YES, she wants to do it again!! And this time, she will know the course and not wonder where the heck she is going!! ;-) Her brother, my "UB", walked the two miles easily, and vowed to run the whole 8K next year. He too has had multiple back surgeries, and is severely affected by having HHT. His lung involvement makes life, at times, very challenging for him. And yet over the past year, he has walked many, many miles at a pace that is difficult to keep up with! Again, I felt the joy and fulfillment that comes from witnessing someone you love discover their own bliss, in a way they never thought possible.
The neck pain and back spasms have subsided. The new pain in my ankle will go away, hopefully in time for Green Bay. But the feeling in my heart, the excitement I felt when I saw my Mom come into Camp Randal Stadium, when I saw my UB and auntie LiLi sitting in the stands waiting for me, will stay in there tucked away with all of the other priceless moments I have experienced. There is no denying that! :-D
Happy Mother's Day....enjoy it!!
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