Door County 2012, race report.

As I sit here I am staring out of our cabin porch windows at a sight I've seen very little of in the past three months. Heavy rains, and wait....what is that sound? Thunder?? This little respite during our yearly week at the cabin provides me with the opportunituy to leisurly eat my breakfast, drink my caramel coffee that was in our Door County race packets, and procrastinate about driving into town to do laundry. Normally I would not go to the laundromat during vacation. I hate wasting that time! However, the extremely offensive smell from our race kits....complete with a strong urine odor...(Yes, I peed in my kit during the race..:)), leaves me with no other choice but go and get it done. Besides, there is a new gym next to the laundromat that I would like to check out!
Door County...my biggest trithlon weekend of 2012. Made even more special by getting to share the experience with Rachel as she races her second sprint on Saturday, and riding the bike leg of the half on Sunday. We were sharing our room with Dana and Sasha, and sharing the whole weekend with the team. I was going into this race feeling the effects of a period of time in my life that has been much like the year of 2004. We call that the year from H@#L, when the bad things just kept happening. Although the circumstanses and events are different, the feelings of helplessness, anxiety, sadness, frustration, and anger are the same. I have been using all of my energy to look at things positively and keep things in perpective. It has been tough. That happy and content place that I am trying so hard to hang onto keeps slipping further away. So I was really looking forward to the Door County weekend as a chance to just let it all go for a few days and get to my happy place.
The Monday before the weekend....BAM! I stubbed my left pinky toe on a wall while vaccuming. The 90 degree angle of my toe was a new look for my foot, but it wasn't very attractive. So I pushed it back to straight. Physical pain, now THAT I can deal with!! ;-) Of course I was beyond angry. How many times do I do this to myself? The next day I found out it was a complete fracture of the middle phalange. No running for 6-8 weeks. I decided to cut a hole in my running shoe and do the race anyway. Racing with pain is not new to me and I was willing to accept the consequences of this less than responsible choice.
We arrived in Door County Friday night and went directly to pick up our packets. It took just a few minutes for Sasha to find the cutest pair of red running shorts for $15....SCORE!! ;-) We picked up our packets, freshened up at the hotel, and set out to meet a large group of friends for dinner. I found my happy place!!
The next norning, my happiness turned to extreme worry for Rachel. The weather was cloudy and very breezy with a pretty significant chop in the water. Sasha had graciously let Rachel borrow her wet suit which made me feel better, and Rachel seemed much less worried about the swim than I was. While it took her a bit longer than she would have liked, she completed that swim doing mostly breast stroke. Dana and I were on shore near T1 watching for her to get out of the water, and we completely missed her! :-( I was worried sick until we went to look in T1 to see if her bike was still there. Thankfully it wasn't and I could breath again. Our friends told us she was just fine and had been riding for a few minutes. I still don't know how we missed her!
Sasha, Julia and I had gotten our 20 minute run done right when we got up that morning. The hole cut in my shoe made running so much more bearable! I finally allowed myself to get excited for the race as I was more confident I was going to be able to run more than I had anticipated. We timed our 30 minute bike ride so we would be able to see Rachel on the run. I felt GREAT on that ride! And then I saw Rachel and she was having a hard time. I tried to encourage her and say the right things to help her feel better. She finished that race with a huge smile on her face as we all cheered for her!!
That afternoon we all got our gear and bikes ready for Sundays race. The other girls took a nap, but I just couldn't settle down enough to even consider it. We went to dinner with more of the team and got to bed early. I had an amazing nights sleep!! Unheard of the night before a race!?!? I guess I was pooped!
The conditions the next morning were much better than Saturday. It was sunny and humid, but the water was much calmer....WHEW!! I ate my usual pre-race meal and drank some Gatoraid. I double taped my toe and said a little prayer. It was more ouchy that morning from the previous days run, but still not too bad. I didn't feel nervous exactly, but I was distracted and worried again for Rachel as she prepared for the 56 mile bike leg of her relay. Blake had been instructing me to let it go and focus on my own race. I found that diffficult, but I tried my best to shift my focus inward. I got in the water and took a few swim strokes. The water was a bit cold for me as usual, but otherwise I felt good and ready to go. Our wave was the last to start, and at 9 am, the gun went off.
Within 200 meters I was swimming wide right and off course. A volunteer in a kayak chased me down and pointed me in the right direction and instructed me to swim THROUGH the two yellow buoys! NOT the greatest swim start! I tried so hard to stay on the buoy line, it just wasn't happening. I swam all over the place the entire time. The was a current and I just wasn't adjusting to it. About half-way through the swim I was finally starting to get into a rhythm, but it didn't last very long. Initially I was worried about getting my toe hit by anothe swimmer, but in no time I was one of the last in the water. Very little chance of getting swam over! ;-)
I barely looked at my watch as I exited the water. I knew my time was awful. My new worry was getting my wetsuit off without hurting my toe and I noticed that the tape had come most of the way off during the swim. I pulled off the rest, and the volunteer was very gentle when she helped me take my wetsuit of. Thank you volunteer!!
Onto my new baby! I was excited about this part of the race. My plan was to try to push the bike leg more than I normally would since I wasn't sure how long I was going to be able to run. The weather was perfect for my ride. There was a bit of a breeze and it was warm, but it was the ideal conditions for me. I spun it out easy at first to get my legs back and a half an hour into my ride I took a goo. I did not feel pain in my toe...at all!! Despite all of that, I felt like A@!!! My legs felt like lead and I was was breathing too hard. I don't ride with power or a heart rate monitor, but my perceived exertion was very high. I just couldn't seem to settle in. I took a goo every half hour, and by the fourth one my stomach was not liking it. I did feel a bit better between miles 30 and 40, but then back to crap. I couldn't figure out what was going on. I just stayed patient and focused, and waited for the bliss that never came. I was looking for Rachel casually and I saw a few members of my team. I tried to enjoy the beautiful scenery and stay in the moment. I just wasn't feeling it.
I passed Rachel at mile 54. I was so happy to see her!! She was looking just fine. She said to me, "Are you not running?" She thought I was done with my bike leg and had opted out of the run and was looking for her! I said, "No, just finishing my ride. Hang in there honey, YOU are almost done!!"
Ironically after the first few miles of the run, I finally started to feel good. I quit taking jels and stuck with my coconut water that I retrieved in T2, and ice. It was getting pretty hot and humid, but I was comparing the conditions to those of last year when it felt much worse. The toe was holding up, but my left ankle started snapping again. UGH!!! Still nothing I couldn't handle, and at this point my goal was to just run as much as I could and walk when I needed to. I saw many friends and teammates during that run. When I cought someone I knew, I would walk or run with them as we encouraged each other to keep on going. Debbie was out on her bike wearing her purple Ragnar skirt, and seeing her several times was awesome!! She gave me such a boost as she was so encouraging and oozing positive energy. She would give me updates on how Rachel was doing. "She's eating a pulled pork sandwich!!" I could have hugged her right then and there, but I didn't want to stop! I made up for it later. :-)
I saw Blake twice on the run. Once at the beginning and once during those last 3 miles of pain. That section of the race is so tough on everyone! My toe and ankle were starting to really complain at mile 9 and just got progressivily worse. But I was also pretty happy as I knew I would finish this race. Running the last half mile of downhill HURT but crossing that finish line to the cheers of my friends was as incredible as always!!
My overall time was one minute faster than last year's sufferfest, but I was much further down in my age group. My bike split was a bit faster, but my swim and run were slower. I was hoping to have a better bike split with the new bike. I tried to let it go and just be happy to have finished, but I honestly wasn't feeling that either at the time.
So I turned outward and on to my team members. SO many great races and PR's!!! I was genuinely happy and proud for them. I am so grateful to everyone on this team for showing what it means to be giving, caring, and supportive in the midst of their own races and challenges. They showered Dana, who was a stranger to most of them, with friendly and welcoming support. They showed genuine interest in getting to know her. Because she was in my bubble, she was in theirs. They shared my "Momma Bear" duties for Rachel so I wouldn't have to do it alone. I had tears in my eyes when Dottie saw me at the end of her sprint, in which she WON her age group, and asked if Rachelk was ok. Who does that?
Team BBMC, that's who. They are getting us through the tough stuff. This may be the unplanned early end to my season. There is more tough stuff coming up. I need to shift my focus on staying strong and healthy, and work on healing. I am looking forward to supporting my team members through the rest of their year and keep my happy place within within "huggs" reach. This is what will keep me moving forward with a smile on my face.
Enjoy this day! :-)

A Triathlete is born!

Twenty-three years ago as the Milwaukee Lakefront fireworks were just beginning to go off, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, SCREAMING (ok...singing!! ;-)), baby girl. At 22 and 23 years old, Mike and I were fairly young new parents and were utterly overwhelmed and scared....and completely in love with this tiny little creature. We naturally had conversations about what kind of person she would turn out to be, what would her passions be, what would she do with her life. We both agreed that we would, to the best of our abilities, provide our children with opportunities to experience and pursuit a variety of interests and activities. We were very fortunate to be able to take them many places that others only dream about going to. Through circumstance, family and job connections, they have traveled to Germany, England, Hawaii, and Mexico. They have seen many parts of this amazing country. They are fully aware of how fortunate they are to have had these experiences at such a young age. Their talents and interests tended to revolve around the Arts. Singing, piano, saxophone, viola, (Rachel....a three week stint!! ;-)), dance, and drama. They tried t-ball and basketball, but those activities did not last long. They did play tennis in High School which they enjoyed during the very short 8-week season. Robyn ran Cross Country in middle school, but showed no interest in continuing in high school. Look back, I find it interesting that it was during this time of self-discovery for them, I stumbled upon my passion. I was 36 years old when I ran my first race and ignited that spark. Why then? Why not any earlier in my life? I had opportunities and chances. I played tennis in high school as well. I joined athletic clubs and tried to run. I hated it. I gained lots of weight and began to hate myself. I joined the gym, lost much of the weight and felt so much better. But really no spark. Although I did enjoy aerobics, I mainly exercised to keep the weight off. And then that race....and most of you know the rest. I have talked about how THE MOST rewarding thing about what I do is how it influences other people in my life to make positive changes in their own lives. Over these ten years, I have witnessed friends and family members walking/running their first races, increasing their activities, and tweaking their diets. My Mom is a great example of this. To be honest, she was less than enthusiastic about my new passion in the beginning. She saw me run myself into major injuries, and then when my CAVM ruptured and I continued to run, she was simply worried sick. Slowly, however, she saw how my physical activity had a positive impact on my recovery, and realized how much this sport had become a huge part of not only my physical, but also my mental, emotional and spiritual health. She saw how happy I was. She decided to start walking. She recently told me, "Now I get it!". It's been tough for Mike an the girls as well. They understandably worry. There is this HHT cloud that hangs over all of this. I know how anxious everyone feels when I'm in the water, and how relieved we ALL are when I get out. It was tremendously difficult saying goodbye and hugging my two crying daughters before my first IM swim. I felt so selfish and wondered why I was putting them through this. Is this worth it? Now they understand. It makes me so happy. To live in fear of what may occur, made all the more real because we happen to KNOW the risks, is not how I choose to live the rest of my life...however long or short it may be. They get it. Rachel did her first Triathlon one week ago. She gets it.

She did so great! I was a wreck!!!! I was racing as well, but I was so worried and excited for her I had a hard time focusing on my own race. She was in wave 4 and I was in 7, so I watched her swim start. I cried. The irony is not lost on me, I just wanted her OUT OF THAT WATER!!! I watched her going around the first turn buoy and she was doing so well! When I got out of my own swim, Coach Blake was there and told me Rachel got out of the water just fine. WHEW!!! Now I could focus and enjoy. I passed her on the bike and she was looking so strong! She saw ME first on the run, and I heard her say, "Hi Mommy!", with her bobbing blond pony tail, I-Pod in her ears...and a HUGE smile! My heart sung. :D It was a successful day for both of us! We had a great time as usual with the team. Have I said how much I love this team? The support they have shown Rachel has been unreal. A few days ago, the Team BBMC newsletter came out and she is the Athlete of the Month!! Blake describes her as "mostly soft spoken". I don't know about that...my ears are still ringing from that first glass shattering scream EVERYONE heard on the night of the fireworks, 23 years ago. :) In one week we will do it again. I am beyond excited for our Door County Triathlon weekend!!!! Rachel will be doing the sprint on Saturday, and I will do the half-IM on Sunday. Rachel will also be doing the bike leg of a relay on Sunday....she will bike 56 miles one day after the sprint! Much of the team will be there...and I will be in my most happy place. :D Enjoy this day!

Counting blessings instead of blunders.

This week was a rough one. Mentally, emotionally, physically, the ups, downs, turns, twists, all have left me a little depleted, but not defeated. It wasn't all bad and as you know, things can always be worse. So I've decided to take every instance and put a positive, grateful spin on them. This helps me to navigate through the mushy haze that is my brain right now, and keep things in perspective. Things that I am grateful for this week: 1: I didn't have to work! 2: The Horribly Hilly ride last Saturday was only about 90% as horrible and hilly as my mind made it out to be. And I only had to clip out ONCE to push my bike up a hill! 3: My Cannondale...which I haven't ridden since January....did not hold a grudge and took GREAT care of me as always on those hills! 4: Culvers at the end of that ride!! ;-) 5: Family celebration on Father's Day, a reminder of what is important. This time together provided the strength and fuel to get us through the following 24 hours. 6: Rachel, for being my angel that night! 7: My sisters voice. 8: Family and friends...can't say it enough... 9: Candice...for the push! 10: Sasha....for the hug! 11: Matt, for the reminder. 12: Dan...for the dinner and support. 13: My team.....more pushing, encouragement, and laughs! 14: That my hubby isn't any sicker than he is, and is improving!! 15: That the incident on the road yesterday which was totally my fault, did not result in any injuries. 16: I will only allow maybe two or three days of beating myself up over it. 17: The fact that I am a fully insured driver, have a valid drivers license, and was not on my cell phone during said incident. 18: My legs were with me during my two hour run this morning providing the opportunity to smash myself physically. 19: The PAC pool...more smashing. 20: My sisters reassuring voice. 21: One week from today, our upcoming week at the HHT treatment center in St. Louis with Robyn will be over. My guardian angel was BUSY this week. I hope she still has some power in those wings for next week! :-) Enjoy this day!

Fatigue Fight!

Has is really been since April that I've written on this Blog? So much has happened since that last "After Boston" post, there has been very little time to write about it. Now that I'm essentially done for the school year, (Except I should be at school tying up loose ends right now instead of blogging!), I have renewed my commitment yet again to keep up with this blog. Here is a summary of the last two months: ~Ran Crazy legs with Mom, Rachel, and many friends. Two weeks after Boston managed to finish only 20 seconds off my PR from last year. :-) ~One week later, ran the Lake Monona 20k resulting in a PR. After careful consideration and many conversation with my family and coach, I decided to register for the Green Bay Marathon that was to take place two weeks later. I would attempt another BQ. ~Green Bay Marathon....Hot, Humid, canceled after 18 miles. Ran the rest of the way so I wouldn't have to wait for a bus, and so my Mom could see me finish a marathon for the first time. ~One week later....took a major hit with a nasty flu bug. My body was talking to me VERY LOUDLY and I was finally forced to listen. It took about a week to recover from that one! ~Two weeks later and one week ago, I was grateful that I was healthy enough to enjoy the Chicago Ragnar experience with 11 other new BFF'S!!!! What an incredibly fun and exhausting weekend. I ran four legs for a total of 24.5 miles. Of course it was hot and humid, but all of my runs were on the trail and it went well for me. I LOVED it!! Team BBMC Beauties aka Ragnarians!! That brings us to the present, and today I have a case of the nerves. It surprises me how much anxiety I have about tomorrow's Horribly Hilly Hundred ride that I signed up to do many months ago. I will be riding 60 some mile around Blue Mounds state park. Many cyclists train in this area to get to those hills. I've have never ridden that area yet. My longest ride this year has been 31 miles. I am really feeling the fatigue of the last several weeks. Not only the fatigue from all of the racing and training, but the added stress of dealing with the challenges those closest to me are facing. It can be exhausting keeping your house of cards from collapsing in that stiff wind. I also fully recognize and take responsibility for the times that I blow on that stack of cards myself. I know that all of this training and racing in this sport that I love is my way of coping with the personal stress. It's a tricky place to be when all you want to do is push back even harder against that wind. You just hope that you keep the damage to a minimum, and have the strength rebuild when you need to. This has been a year of firsts. My first double marathon 5 weeks apart, My first mid-event cancellation, the first time my Mom has been present at a major race, my first Ragnar experience, The first time I've raced alongside my daughter, and tomorrow will mark the first time I've ridden the Blue Mounds hills in my first ever stand alone cycling event. It will be hot and humid, there will be major hills, and from what I hear...LOTS OF FOOD!!!! A few members of the team will be there as well...YAY!! I am incredibly grateful to my family and friends who are a constant support. How can any of us get through this life without these precious connections? We ALL go through this stuff and we need each other to help rebuild those cards. I was at a visitation this week for a friends husband who passed away. I asked her how she was doing, really, what do you say in those moments to provide some comfort? She said it was so helpful to just be with family, friends, and neighbors. She said, "They don't even need to say anything, just being here for us has been amazing". I would agree. Enjoy this day!

Boston....bring on the heat!

I finished my last post vowing to run with a grateful heart and to the best of my ability. And that's what I did. The Wednesday before the race, the weather predictions for the marathon were 62 and cloudy. Perfect! By Thursday...78, partly cloudy. Hmmmm.... By Friday.....86.....sunny. GULP! Here is a re-cap of my best/worst Boston Marathon. Rachel and I flew to Boston on Friday night. All went without incident UNTIL we got in the cab to go to our hotel. I gave the driver the address...and knew we were in trouble when he said in broken English, "I need GPS for this. 40 minute away". WHAT?? When I booked the hotel, I thought we would be staying near the finish. 40 minute and $120.00 later, we realized we were near the START of the marathon!!!! Good God, I can be such a moron sometimes. That negative energy was not a great way to start this weekend. Rachel, who can be self-admittedly less than patient, was really working hard to keep me from beating myself up too much. We talked with the folks at the hotel and they were SOOOOO helpful and reassuring. They would help us get to where we needed to go. They had many runners staying with them and had arranged for a shuttle to take us to the start of the race in Hopkington. We went into plan B mode and it was a new adventure. Except for the added expense of many cab rides, (we got to know a few of the cab drivers pretty well! ;-)), and the time spent on the train, logistically the weekend went better than expected! :-) The next morning I got up and went to the tiny gym. They had one old stationary bike and I just spun the legs easy for 30 minutes. I was feeling a bit stiff and that really helped to loosen things up. We spent the rest of the day in Boston doing LOTS of walking!! We met up with Sasha and found the finish line. I got chills right away. There were many runners with their families there taking pictures. We got our pictures, then went SHOPPING! The day was absolutely gorgeous . There were a ton of people out and about and it was crowded! We managed to spend just a little money at Forever 21, H&M, and a chocolate shop. :) We then said goodbye to Sasha as she was meeting her friends for an evening of fun....and football!! ;-) Rachel and I got to the race expo later than expected, since they had changed it's location to downtown near the Ocean. It seemed to take forever to walk there! I got my race packet, and I was asked if I'd received the information about the heat advisory and the option to defer the race until next year. Another..."WHAT??" I had read all of the doom and gloom warnings given over the previous two days but had not learned of the deferment option. I was told that if I decided to run next year, that I had until 6 pm Sunday to turn in my bib. I told them, "Not on option for me. I will be running on Monday". I was told, "Good Luck!" :-) We walked around the expo for a short time. I was a little disappointed in in truthfully. It wasn't as big as in the past, and I wasn't impressed with many of the vendors. Everything seemed so expensive! I did purchase a technical Boston Marathon 2012 jacket. The colors this year are orange and black. I like it, but I did hear many complaints about the "Halloween" colors! ;-) Sunday morning....24 hours to go. Again I sat on the bike and spun for 25 minutes, then ran for 20. There were a few runners out there which was really nice to see. I did NOT see anyone like myself....doing the functional work that Blake had me doing. I call it the "hoppy, skippy, jumpy's!" They really help to open up my hips and warm up the legs....but watching me do them is very entertaining to say the least! Everything felt so good, I was ready to go! Rachel and I went to Boston again, this time to the New England Aquarium. Rachel knows the trainers there having met them last year during her internship at Mystic. They had arranged a meet and greet with the Sea Lions and Harbor Seals...and it was AWESOME!!! It is so amazing to see these trainers work with these beautiful animals and have them perform the behaviors that they were trained to do. We even got kisses!!!! After that be FINALLY made it to our favorite section of Boston....the North End!!! We ate at a restaurant we just stumbled onto, and then.....MIKE'S BAKERY!!!!! Tiramisu and Connoli.....YUMMMMMMM!!!! Two days of walking, eating, shopping, reading the Chrissy Wellington book that Sasha borrowed me, the messages from friends and family, left me feeling full and happy. I was worried about the weather for sure. Blake and I adjusted my plan and scaled my pace back by 10 seconds per mile. I kept saying to myself, "I LOVE the heat. I LOVE the heat!!" I slept very well all things considered. Race day!!!! I was up at 6 am....and the first thing I did was eat a few bites of leftover cannoli!! (...yes, there were leftovers!! ;-)) I checked the weather....88* by mid day, full sun. Oy..... I showered and shaved my legs. I figured if I had to go to the hospital, I want to be clean shaven!! ;-) I kissed Rachel goodbye and made my way to the bus. I met these two wonderful ladies, Rachel, and Mira. We, along with my new friend from Madison, Jennifer, hung out in athletes village together! That was so great. For my other two Bostons, I was by myself. I absolutely love how we can meet perfect strangers who have a common interest and passion, and it feels as if we've been friends forever! We were all worried about the heat and nervous. That nervous, excited chatter was priceless! In the village I ate the rest of my breakfast of yogurt, cereal, and a banana. I would carry my water bottle with coconut water during the race, until I ran out. Then I would switch to gatoraid and shot blocks and gels. That was the plan anyway. I didn't cross the starting mat until 10:51 am. It was VERY crowded during the almost mile walk to the start, and I never even made into my corral. I was literally in the back of the back of wave 3. Wave 1 and 2 were already gone, and I was with the charity runners. These people are so amazing! Many of them have raised over $5,0000 for a charity they they feel is close to them. Many run this for personal reasons, with names and pictures on their tanks, the many bracelets and signs, and there was even a group of hamburgers!!!!! Many were running their first marathon, and these were the people the race directors were most worried about. I was sweating from the walk to the start, and by the aid station at mile 2, I was burning up. The volunteers at that aid station were frantically trying to keep up with the hundreds of runners that wanted water. They were running out...already! And I was starting to panic. That is literally how I felt, and I hated that I was feeling this way by mile 2!! In my mind, if they were already running out of water, how were we supposed to get through this thing? My pace was ok, I had wanted to stay around 9 minutes per mile....but that pace didn't last very long. Miles 3-5 were extremely dark for me. The subsequent aid stations were better stocked and less frantic. This did help mentally, but my right IT was hurting...and I was just so CRABBY!! My thoughts were, "If I drop out and call Sasha and Rachel to come and get me, everyone would understand. It would be ok, I wouldn't be trashed or get sick, and we could go back to the North End and get some gelato!!" Seriously....this is what I was thinking. Then I got really pissed at myself, and reminded myself that I just needed to stay patient. I recognized these thought patterns that are pretty familiar by now. I thought about Eric and Cari, about all of the people that inspire me. I remembered that I felt this exact same way in Green Bay running into that horrible wind during a race that got me to Boston. Then I remembered, once again, how lucky I was. ....and at mile 5 there was ICE!!!!!!! :-D Miles 6-16 were the best miles physically. The IT band pain went away...YAY! The left ankle started to hurt by mile 10, but it remained tolerable for the rest of the race. There were so many opportunities to cool off via hoses, sprinklers, misting tents, ICE!!! The sheer numbers of aid station, volunteers, spectators, locals with their sprinklers and hoses...just like Door County last summer but even MORE....was simply incredible. I had decided pretty early on that I wouldn't be able to maintain my pace without the risk of throw up and blow up, so I just took it easy. I pushed it a bit when I felt better, and backed off when I didn't. I soaked up every moment, every cheer and scream and little kids with Super Soakers....and I really enjoyed it as much as I could. I put a smile on my face...and kept going. I walked most of the Newton hills except for Heartbreak. I just had to run up that damned hill!! It was the closest I came to the edge, but I managed to pull back just in time to finish the last 5 miles. And they were VERY hot miles. There were no more hoses, just the deafening yelling and screaming of the inebriated BU kids! Most of the runners were walking, and MANY of them were stumbling and cramping up. My legs, hips, pelvis and QUADS were on fire! But my stomach was ok, and I was still running and smiling. After mile 24, I was running on the right side of the road looking for Sasha and Rachel. I never saw them when I ran past them at mile 25, and they never saw me. :-( The run towards the finish line on Boylston was indescribable. Even compared to the other two Bostons and IMOO...the thousands of people screaming and cheering, the atmosphere and energy...utterly amazing. It's a moment I will NEVER forget! After I crossed the finish line, things got interesting. I was feeling ok until after I picked up my gear bag from the bus. I had called Rachel and Sasha to come and find me. I found some shade and sat down with many other finishers. We were told we couldn't stay there, so I got up and made my way back to the gear buses. I called Rachel and told her to meet me there, and as I waited, I just kept walking. I was getting hotter and hotter. I was told it was about 90* at that point. Then the walls started closing in and my stomach started to go. Oh boy...here we go! I stood there and bent over to get my head down. The medical people were there in an instant. They had been scooping people up all around me! I told this very nice gentleman that I was fine, I just needed to lie down with my feet up. He said that if I did that, he would take me to medical. I told him I didn't need that, I just needed to keep my head down!! So I stood there with my head down. I asked him to hold my medal that was around my neck back so I wouldn't puke on it! Thankfully, the feeling passed after about 10 minutes. WHEW!! The no puking during or after a race streak is still alive!!!! ;-)I read later that those amazing medical personnel treated 2500 runners, with around 150 being transported to the local hospitals. Rachel and Sasha finally got to me. Rachel had a cold coconut water for me....BLESS HER!! I was feeling MUCH better. I broke down when I saw them. I couldn't help it. Rachel and I again said goodbye to Sasha. We walked to the train station and got on the very SLOW train back to the hotel. It took 1 1/2 hours and I was a chilled, shaking mess from the wet clothes and air conditioning. Luckily I had my sweats and jacket and that helped some. A hot shower, a fabulous dinner, and a dip in the hotel pool, and all was GOOD! 4:13:56. 9:42 average. My slowest Boston yet, but the best in terms of where I placed in my age group, gender, and place. My goal of qualifying for The Boston Marathon at Boston, again has not been realized. I will just have to try again. :-) Thank you seems such an inadequate term to convey how appreciative I am of ALL of the support I continue to receive during this journey I am on. It overwhelms me. Frequently I think about how much I have experienced and all of the things I have gotten to do, and all of the amazing people I have met along the way. Really....is this my life? I cannot believe it. Enjoy this day! :-)

Fight the good fight

"Fight the good fight every moment. Every minute, every day. Fight the good fight every moment, it's your only way" ~Rik Emmett-Triumph, 1981

Mike and I have been together since 1983. In May of that year, he took me to my first rock concert at Alpine Valley to see one of my favorite bands at the time, Triumph. I was 16 years old and completely overwhelmed by the sensory overload of deafening music, the light show and flash pots, the wild crowd....and I loved every second of it. I haven't thought about that concert in years.
Tonight as I came in from the barn, Mike was cooking dinner and he had a Triumph playlist streaming through the computer. This song was playing, and all of those memories and feelings came flooding back. I just stood in the kitchen and stayed in that moment for as long as I could. I had almost a physical reaction and was so surprised at the intensity of the feelings. I thought about how long we have been together, all of the things we have gone through together, and how amazingly lucky we are to still be together. My thoughts then went to a young couple named Eric and Cari. They've been in my heart a lot lately, and the words to this song seemed a perfect message to send them. Eric is fighting his sixth battle with Leukemia with every ounce of strength he has. They have not even been married a year, yet they have endured much more than most do in a lifetime. I became aware of their inspiring story through Blake, who knows Eric's brother Mike. Mike is a triathlete and marathoner. He will be running the Boston marathon on Monday as well, in honor of Eric and in support of his organization, Leukemia Ironman Fundraiser for Eric. (L.I.F.E.) And because the fates have been kind to me in my own journey towards my third Boston marathon, and because I have the ability at this moment in my life to get to the starting line, and because I get to with a grateful heart, I will think of Eric and Cari during the race. I will think of all the pain and sickness that Eric....and many others in my life have endured. It will remind me that the pain that I am feeling in no way compares....and is of my own choosing. I will remind myself that I am incredibly lucky to be running this amazing event with the best runners in the world yet again. I will remind myself that although there are times I look at my life and can't believe it's mine, it is indeed real and not a dream. I won't pretend to understand how life can be so unfair to incredible people like Eric and Cari, or the 'Teens Living with Cancer' that Mary works with, or my own sister, or those in my world affected by HHT...the list is far too long. It just serves to strengthen my resolve to never waste a gifted day.
There is a bit of disappointing news related to this weekend. This was to be a 'girl' trip shared with my BFF's Dana, Rachel, and Sasha. However, Dana is unable to go after having undergone a medical procedure yesterday that was a little more involved than originally thought. We are both sad as we were really looking forward to this, but I'm just thankful she will be ok. She just needs more time to recuperate. It will definitely NOT be the same going to the race expo without her. She is my shopping muse!
There are many people that I am grateful to for helping me get to Boston. Without them I wouldn't be here, and they know who they are. I will carry a heart full of love and gratitude during those miles as well. I plan on soaking up every second and running to the best of my ability.
....Fight the good fight every moment....it's the only way....
Enjoy this day!

Summer came early!

Three weeks ago there was snow. One week later we were riding our bikes outside. One week after that, summer arrived with a welcoming string of days at 80 degrees, and I was running in a tank top and shorts, happily sweating my butt off. March Madness indeed!!
Training in the last three weeks since the onset of the knee niggle has been interesting. I'm a bit reluctant to share this today as it seems all I do is complain about my aches and pains. It's truly getting boring, and I imagine it can be tiresome to read about it. But I'm trying to keep this blog honest and this is my reality at the moment. I also know there are at least a few others out there who can relate to what I'm going through.
My IT band seems to have worked itself out thankfully! There is still mild pain, especially during downhill running, but it's definitely improved. The week after my gimpy long run, I was able to run 18 miles with tolerable pain. I continue to stretch and roll it a few times a day and that, along with a couple of weeks of decreased training volume seems to have really helped. Last Saturday I raced the Shamrock Shuffle 10k, along with a few team members. I was more focused on Rachel as she was running her first 5k! I was so excited and SOOOO proud of her as she gutted out a tough race. It was warm, breezy, and the 5k course took her over Observatory Hill TWICE! (10k ers only had to endure that beast once!! :-))
The race went better than expected for me. I have been LOVING this warm weather. The heat helps me to loosen up sooner and my body just seems to respond better. (Too a point....remember the Door County Half IM? 106 degree heat index is even a bit much for me! ;-)) Last Saturday, the temp was perfect for me, (low 70's at the start of the race), and I managed to run my fastest stand alone 10k with a time of 49:40!!! I couldn't believe it. As I rounded the corner and saw the finish line with 2/10 miles to go, I knew if I really pushed I would stay under 50 minutes. That wobbly "kick" at the end was priceless to witness I'm sure! I immediately found Rachel and the family and experienced that amazing rush of complete happiness. The combination of the elation I felt for Rachel and the pain free, solid race I just ran, it's those moments that make all of the hours of hard work and pain more than worth it!! :-D
I will hang onto that feeling, and stay patient as once again I'm faced with a different niggle that occurred half-way through my 12 miler this morning. This time it's my left ankle tendon that has been bothersome since December. This time it came on suddenly and the pain evolved into something that was making me limp by the end. SIGH!!! Sasha, who is my amazing teammate and friend, was the first to talk me off the ledge...(Coach Blake was actually the first to TEXT me off the ledge ;-)), suggests PT. I think I will call on Monday. Too many niggles and only three weeks until Boston. I've got some quick healing to do!! :-)
Enjoy this day!!!

'I have a niggle!"

As many years as I've been in this sport, I've only just recently heard of that term. It refers to the pains that come and go during training. I call them "tweaks", but in an effort to stay current, I'll just say....I do have a niggle. I'm just hoping it will go away quickly.
True to my plan, I took my recovery week last week very seriously. Everything was feeling great and I was looking forward to the weekend and my staggered long run. Friday's snow storm and the resulting icy roads on Saturday morning forced me to run at the gym on the dreader. I have only been on the treadmill TWICE this winter, and I was really worried about my ability to run 90 minutes at the pace my plan called for. For three years I have dealt with an inability to run for any length of time at a pace that is even remotely faster than VERY easy. There have been no clear answers as to why, but I suspect it has something to do with my instability in my hips and pelvis, and trying to stay balanced on the moving belt. I've just tried to avoid it as much as possible.
Saturdays date with the dreader went GREAT!! For whatever reason, (maybe the TRX classes?), I was able to run at my usual pace and hit the mark on the 2 mile repeats! I was so happy, I literally have not run that long or that well on the treadmill in two years!
When I went to the Speed Cycling a few hours later, I was pretty tired and my right hip and groin were complaining a little. I told Blake about it, and I got through the ride more comfortably by staying mostly out of the aerobars. By the time the ride was done I was feeling much better. So far so good!
On to Sunday. On top of the usual barn chores, I was getting ready for the family gathering that was taking place at noon. I was thankful I only needed to run easy for 90 minutes! I was also really feeling Saturday in my legs and hips. I was a little worried about the run, especially since it had snowed again overnight and the roads were a bit slippery. No way was I going to the gym, so I put on my screw shoes and hit the road.
After the first few miles I started to feel really good! While I felt slightly sluggish, I thought it was going to feel so much worse. I was really enjoying the easy pace and got into a nice rhythm. Then at mile 8 with just 2 more to go, my whole right IT band from my hip to my foot starting to burn and cramp up. In a blink, it seized up and I had to stop running. I stretched it out, walked for a bit, started running...then OUCH!! Stopped, stretched, jogged...OUCH! Grrrrrrr.....I was MAD!!!! In a blink......and that's how it goes. I managed to gimp home, and immediately stretched, got out the tennis ball to work on the ITB, ice.....and poured myself a coffee with Baily's! ;-) I did not hang onto the anger for very long. I quickly worked my way into the, "It's going to be ok, you've been here before" mode. The family arrived shortly after, and it was perfect timing. We visited, ate an immense amount of food, shared stories and laughs, and marveled at how grown up my nieces and nephews were getting to be. I was reminded that THIS was what was important. This time that we get to spend together, crammed into this tiny little house, tripping over each other, making fun of each other, and loving each other fully, this is what mattered. There will come a day when that will no longer be possible. Gratefully, yesterday was not that day. :-)
Similarly, there will come a day when it will no longer be possible for me to run. As much as I love running, I know this will be hard for me to accept. But it in no way compares to other losses I have yet to endure. Losses that are an inevitable part of life. So I will continue to push on for as long as I can, and be thankful for all of the steps that I have already taken.
Enjoy this day!

On the road again...to Boston!!

Ok, so it's been a few months since I've posted. Well, more than a few as I again let this Blog, and time, get away from me. Same old story...different year. As much as I wish for it, more time has not miraculously appeared in my day!
Here is a brief update:
*Health-wise, we are all doing great!
*I recovered from IMOO 2011 fairly well and my "off" season was a success. I still kept active for the few months after, but with a lot less structure.
*As of December, Rachel is now a member of the BBMC team, and I couldn't be more thrilled! She will graduate from UW Madison in May, and I CANNOT get my mind wrapped around that.
*Robyn has applied for the School of Nursing at both Madison and Edgewood. She will be getting her CNA in a few weeks, and is volunteering at Meriter Hospital. Keeping our fingers crossed that she gets in at Madison!
*Mike is his usual crazy, busy self. The latest projects are wine making and Hydroponics. (He's trying to grow me some salad in the basement. So far....the results have been pretty sketchy! ;-))
*Work is...let's just save that for another post. Suffice to say, I have never felt more overwhelmed and inadequate than I have this year. It's really making me question what I am doing with this career. Is this where I am truly happy? Lots of soul-searching to be done!
*While we are enjoying good health, my dear sister has had challenges and been a constant source of worry. We are praying things will turn around for her soon! :-(
* I have a new bike!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I mention that I have a new bike???

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Yet again I'm filled with gratitude. There are many people responsible for the fact that I posses this beauty including my coach Blake and the Team BBMC relationship with Trek, and of course my hubby Mike who planted this seed in the first place. I have been riding it for about 6 weeks and am still trying to get used to all of the new feels. I need to go in for another fitting...and I'm definitely getting a new seat. My bum is NOT a big fan right now!
The "Off" season turned back "On" for me in December. I have been putting in consistent work in all three areas and have been back to enjoying my love/hate relationship with the TRX classes. (I truly love them...on most days! ;-) We've increased the running mileage very carefully. When I look back at my log and compare what I'm doing now to what I was doing at this time one year ago, there is definitely more intensity built into the workouts. The overall volume is up slightly as well. My body was slow to respond at first, but I'm really feeling like I'm getting my running legs back just in the last two weeks! Still, I am having to deal with the arthritis, and my pelvis and hips are never happy on long run Sunday nights.
So, it's 8 weeks until Boston, and Coach Blake has a new plan for me in terms of my long run/heavy volume weekends. The approach is a bit different from how I've always trained for a marathon, but it is also a continuation of how my training has evolved over the past 1 1/2 years. We will be breaking up some of the longer runs and spread them out over the weekend. An example: 1 1/2 hour run on Saturday with intervals at near 10k pace, then a 1 1/2 hour easy run on Sunday. I will still bike on Saturday and swim on Sunday...just to keep me from getting bored!! ;-) This should be interesting, and I'm really curious to see how my body/legs respond.
Today marks the start of a recovery week, and I am so ready for it! This past weekend I rode for two hours on Saturday, (the longest on my new bike...and my bum is still yelling at me!), had a 30 min transition run after which included a few pushes up my favorite hill. It felt so great! Sundays long run of 16 miles was feeling pretty good until mile 11 when I turned into that blasted wind. I DO NOT do well with running into a headwind above 20 mph, and the gusts were up to 3o. At mile 13 I was reminded of that not so pleasant feeling of the dreaded bonk. UGH!! To support my plan to take this recovery week very seriously...I skipped TRX this morning! Since I had the day off from work, I was able to sleep in until 6:45. It felt like heaven!!!
Enjoy this day!!