Counting blessings instead of blunders.

This week was a rough one. Mentally, emotionally, physically, the ups, downs, turns, twists, all have left me a little depleted, but not defeated. It wasn't all bad and as you know, things can always be worse. So I've decided to take every instance and put a positive, grateful spin on them. This helps me to navigate through the mushy haze that is my brain right now, and keep things in perspective. Things that I am grateful for this week: 1: I didn't have to work! 2: The Horribly Hilly ride last Saturday was only about 90% as horrible and hilly as my mind made it out to be. And I only had to clip out ONCE to push my bike up a hill! 3: My Cannondale...which I haven't ridden since January....did not hold a grudge and took GREAT care of me as always on those hills! 4: Culvers at the end of that ride!! ;-) 5: Family celebration on Father's Day, a reminder of what is important. This time together provided the strength and fuel to get us through the following 24 hours. 6: Rachel, for being my angel that night! 7: My sisters voice. 8: Family and friends...can't say it enough... 9: Candice...for the push! 10: Sasha....for the hug! 11: Matt, for the reminder. 12: Dan...for the dinner and support. 13: My team.....more pushing, encouragement, and laughs! 14: That my hubby isn't any sicker than he is, and is improving!! 15: That the incident on the road yesterday which was totally my fault, did not result in any injuries. 16: I will only allow maybe two or three days of beating myself up over it. 17: The fact that I am a fully insured driver, have a valid drivers license, and was not on my cell phone during said incident. 18: My legs were with me during my two hour run this morning providing the opportunity to smash myself physically. 19: The PAC pool...more smashing. 20: My sisters reassuring voice. 21: One week from today, our upcoming week at the HHT treatment center in St. Louis with Robyn will be over. My guardian angel was BUSY this week. I hope she still has some power in those wings for next week! :-) Enjoy this day!

Fatigue Fight!

Has is really been since April that I've written on this Blog? So much has happened since that last "After Boston" post, there has been very little time to write about it. Now that I'm essentially done for the school year, (Except I should be at school tying up loose ends right now instead of blogging!), I have renewed my commitment yet again to keep up with this blog. Here is a summary of the last two months: ~Ran Crazy legs with Mom, Rachel, and many friends. Two weeks after Boston managed to finish only 20 seconds off my PR from last year. :-) ~One week later, ran the Lake Monona 20k resulting in a PR. After careful consideration and many conversation with my family and coach, I decided to register for the Green Bay Marathon that was to take place two weeks later. I would attempt another BQ. ~Green Bay Marathon....Hot, Humid, canceled after 18 miles. Ran the rest of the way so I wouldn't have to wait for a bus, and so my Mom could see me finish a marathon for the first time. ~One week later....took a major hit with a nasty flu bug. My body was talking to me VERY LOUDLY and I was finally forced to listen. It took about a week to recover from that one! ~Two weeks later and one week ago, I was grateful that I was healthy enough to enjoy the Chicago Ragnar experience with 11 other new BFF'S!!!! What an incredibly fun and exhausting weekend. I ran four legs for a total of 24.5 miles. Of course it was hot and humid, but all of my runs were on the trail and it went well for me. I LOVED it!! Team BBMC Beauties aka Ragnarians!! That brings us to the present, and today I have a case of the nerves. It surprises me how much anxiety I have about tomorrow's Horribly Hilly Hundred ride that I signed up to do many months ago. I will be riding 60 some mile around Blue Mounds state park. Many cyclists train in this area to get to those hills. I've have never ridden that area yet. My longest ride this year has been 31 miles. I am really feeling the fatigue of the last several weeks. Not only the fatigue from all of the racing and training, but the added stress of dealing with the challenges those closest to me are facing. It can be exhausting keeping your house of cards from collapsing in that stiff wind. I also fully recognize and take responsibility for the times that I blow on that stack of cards myself. I know that all of this training and racing in this sport that I love is my way of coping with the personal stress. It's a tricky place to be when all you want to do is push back even harder against that wind. You just hope that you keep the damage to a minimum, and have the strength rebuild when you need to. This has been a year of firsts. My first double marathon 5 weeks apart, My first mid-event cancellation, the first time my Mom has been present at a major race, my first Ragnar experience, The first time I've raced alongside my daughter, and tomorrow will mark the first time I've ridden the Blue Mounds hills in my first ever stand alone cycling event. It will be hot and humid, there will be major hills, and from what I hear...LOTS OF FOOD!!!! A few members of the team will be there as well...YAY!! I am incredibly grateful to my family and friends who are a constant support. How can any of us get through this life without these precious connections? We ALL go through this stuff and we need each other to help rebuild those cards. I was at a visitation this week for a friends husband who passed away. I asked her how she was doing, really, what do you say in those moments to provide some comfort? She said it was so helpful to just be with family, friends, and neighbors. She said, "They don't even need to say anything, just being here for us has been amazing". I would agree. Enjoy this day!