Door County 2012, race report.

As I sit here I am staring out of our cabin porch windows at a sight I've seen very little of in the past three months. Heavy rains, and wait....what is that sound? Thunder?? This little respite during our yearly week at the cabin provides me with the opportunituy to leisurly eat my breakfast, drink my caramel coffee that was in our Door County race packets, and procrastinate about driving into town to do laundry. Normally I would not go to the laundromat during vacation. I hate wasting that time! However, the extremely offensive smell from our race kits....complete with a strong urine odor...(Yes, I peed in my kit during the race..:)), leaves me with no other choice but go and get it done. Besides, there is a new gym next to the laundromat that I would like to check out!
Door County...my biggest trithlon weekend of 2012. Made even more special by getting to share the experience with Rachel as she races her second sprint on Saturday, and riding the bike leg of the half on Sunday. We were sharing our room with Dana and Sasha, and sharing the whole weekend with the team. I was going into this race feeling the effects of a period of time in my life that has been much like the year of 2004. We call that the year from H@#L, when the bad things just kept happening. Although the circumstanses and events are different, the feelings of helplessness, anxiety, sadness, frustration, and anger are the same. I have been using all of my energy to look at things positively and keep things in perpective. It has been tough. That happy and content place that I am trying so hard to hang onto keeps slipping further away. So I was really looking forward to the Door County weekend as a chance to just let it all go for a few days and get to my happy place.
The Monday before the weekend....BAM! I stubbed my left pinky toe on a wall while vaccuming. The 90 degree angle of my toe was a new look for my foot, but it wasn't very attractive. So I pushed it back to straight. Physical pain, now THAT I can deal with!! ;-) Of course I was beyond angry. How many times do I do this to myself? The next day I found out it was a complete fracture of the middle phalange. No running for 6-8 weeks. I decided to cut a hole in my running shoe and do the race anyway. Racing with pain is not new to me and I was willing to accept the consequences of this less than responsible choice.
We arrived in Door County Friday night and went directly to pick up our packets. It took just a few minutes for Sasha to find the cutest pair of red running shorts for $15....SCORE!! ;-) We picked up our packets, freshened up at the hotel, and set out to meet a large group of friends for dinner. I found my happy place!!
The next norning, my happiness turned to extreme worry for Rachel. The weather was cloudy and very breezy with a pretty significant chop in the water. Sasha had graciously let Rachel borrow her wet suit which made me feel better, and Rachel seemed much less worried about the swim than I was. While it took her a bit longer than she would have liked, she completed that swim doing mostly breast stroke. Dana and I were on shore near T1 watching for her to get out of the water, and we completely missed her! :-( I was worried sick until we went to look in T1 to see if her bike was still there. Thankfully it wasn't and I could breath again. Our friends told us she was just fine and had been riding for a few minutes. I still don't know how we missed her!
Sasha, Julia and I had gotten our 20 minute run done right when we got up that morning. The hole cut in my shoe made running so much more bearable! I finally allowed myself to get excited for the race as I was more confident I was going to be able to run more than I had anticipated. We timed our 30 minute bike ride so we would be able to see Rachel on the run. I felt GREAT on that ride! And then I saw Rachel and she was having a hard time. I tried to encourage her and say the right things to help her feel better. She finished that race with a huge smile on her face as we all cheered for her!!
That afternoon we all got our gear and bikes ready for Sundays race. The other girls took a nap, but I just couldn't settle down enough to even consider it. We went to dinner with more of the team and got to bed early. I had an amazing nights sleep!! Unheard of the night before a race!?!? I guess I was pooped!
The conditions the next morning were much better than Saturday. It was sunny and humid, but the water was much calmer....WHEW!! I ate my usual pre-race meal and drank some Gatoraid. I double taped my toe and said a little prayer. It was more ouchy that morning from the previous days run, but still not too bad. I didn't feel nervous exactly, but I was distracted and worried again for Rachel as she prepared for the 56 mile bike leg of her relay. Blake had been instructing me to let it go and focus on my own race. I found that diffficult, but I tried my best to shift my focus inward. I got in the water and took a few swim strokes. The water was a bit cold for me as usual, but otherwise I felt good and ready to go. Our wave was the last to start, and at 9 am, the gun went off.
Within 200 meters I was swimming wide right and off course. A volunteer in a kayak chased me down and pointed me in the right direction and instructed me to swim THROUGH the two yellow buoys! NOT the greatest swim start! I tried so hard to stay on the buoy line, it just wasn't happening. I swam all over the place the entire time. The was a current and I just wasn't adjusting to it. About half-way through the swim I was finally starting to get into a rhythm, but it didn't last very long. Initially I was worried about getting my toe hit by anothe swimmer, but in no time I was one of the last in the water. Very little chance of getting swam over! ;-)
I barely looked at my watch as I exited the water. I knew my time was awful. My new worry was getting my wetsuit off without hurting my toe and I noticed that the tape had come most of the way off during the swim. I pulled off the rest, and the volunteer was very gentle when she helped me take my wetsuit of. Thank you volunteer!!
Onto my new baby! I was excited about this part of the race. My plan was to try to push the bike leg more than I normally would since I wasn't sure how long I was going to be able to run. The weather was perfect for my ride. There was a bit of a breeze and it was warm, but it was the ideal conditions for me. I spun it out easy at first to get my legs back and a half an hour into my ride I took a goo. I did not feel pain in my toe...at all!! Despite all of that, I felt like A@!!! My legs felt like lead and I was was breathing too hard. I don't ride with power or a heart rate monitor, but my perceived exertion was very high. I just couldn't seem to settle in. I took a goo every half hour, and by the fourth one my stomach was not liking it. I did feel a bit better between miles 30 and 40, but then back to crap. I couldn't figure out what was going on. I just stayed patient and focused, and waited for the bliss that never came. I was looking for Rachel casually and I saw a few members of my team. I tried to enjoy the beautiful scenery and stay in the moment. I just wasn't feeling it.
I passed Rachel at mile 54. I was so happy to see her!! She was looking just fine. She said to me, "Are you not running?" She thought I was done with my bike leg and had opted out of the run and was looking for her! I said, "No, just finishing my ride. Hang in there honey, YOU are almost done!!"
Ironically after the first few miles of the run, I finally started to feel good. I quit taking jels and stuck with my coconut water that I retrieved in T2, and ice. It was getting pretty hot and humid, but I was comparing the conditions to those of last year when it felt much worse. The toe was holding up, but my left ankle started snapping again. UGH!!! Still nothing I couldn't handle, and at this point my goal was to just run as much as I could and walk when I needed to. I saw many friends and teammates during that run. When I cought someone I knew, I would walk or run with them as we encouraged each other to keep on going. Debbie was out on her bike wearing her purple Ragnar skirt, and seeing her several times was awesome!! She gave me such a boost as she was so encouraging and oozing positive energy. She would give me updates on how Rachel was doing. "She's eating a pulled pork sandwich!!" I could have hugged her right then and there, but I didn't want to stop! I made up for it later. :-)
I saw Blake twice on the run. Once at the beginning and once during those last 3 miles of pain. That section of the race is so tough on everyone! My toe and ankle were starting to really complain at mile 9 and just got progressivily worse. But I was also pretty happy as I knew I would finish this race. Running the last half mile of downhill HURT but crossing that finish line to the cheers of my friends was as incredible as always!!
My overall time was one minute faster than last year's sufferfest, but I was much further down in my age group. My bike split was a bit faster, but my swim and run were slower. I was hoping to have a better bike split with the new bike. I tried to let it go and just be happy to have finished, but I honestly wasn't feeling that either at the time.
So I turned outward and on to my team members. SO many great races and PR's!!! I was genuinely happy and proud for them. I am so grateful to everyone on this team for showing what it means to be giving, caring, and supportive in the midst of their own races and challenges. They showered Dana, who was a stranger to most of them, with friendly and welcoming support. They showed genuine interest in getting to know her. Because she was in my bubble, she was in theirs. They shared my "Momma Bear" duties for Rachel so I wouldn't have to do it alone. I had tears in my eyes when Dottie saw me at the end of her sprint, in which she WON her age group, and asked if Rachelk was ok. Who does that?
Team BBMC, that's who. They are getting us through the tough stuff. This may be the unplanned early end to my season. There is more tough stuff coming up. I need to shift my focus on staying strong and healthy, and work on healing. I am looking forward to supporting my team members through the rest of their year and keep my happy place within within "huggs" reach. This is what will keep me moving forward with a smile on my face.
Enjoy this day! :-)

A Triathlete is born!

Twenty-three years ago as the Milwaukee Lakefront fireworks were just beginning to go off, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, SCREAMING (ok...singing!! ;-)), baby girl. At 22 and 23 years old, Mike and I were fairly young new parents and were utterly overwhelmed and scared....and completely in love with this tiny little creature. We naturally had conversations about what kind of person she would turn out to be, what would her passions be, what would she do with her life. We both agreed that we would, to the best of our abilities, provide our children with opportunities to experience and pursuit a variety of interests and activities. We were very fortunate to be able to take them many places that others only dream about going to. Through circumstance, family and job connections, they have traveled to Germany, England, Hawaii, and Mexico. They have seen many parts of this amazing country. They are fully aware of how fortunate they are to have had these experiences at such a young age. Their talents and interests tended to revolve around the Arts. Singing, piano, saxophone, viola, (Rachel....a three week stint!! ;-)), dance, and drama. They tried t-ball and basketball, but those activities did not last long. They did play tennis in High School which they enjoyed during the very short 8-week season. Robyn ran Cross Country in middle school, but showed no interest in continuing in high school. Look back, I find it interesting that it was during this time of self-discovery for them, I stumbled upon my passion. I was 36 years old when I ran my first race and ignited that spark. Why then? Why not any earlier in my life? I had opportunities and chances. I played tennis in high school as well. I joined athletic clubs and tried to run. I hated it. I gained lots of weight and began to hate myself. I joined the gym, lost much of the weight and felt so much better. But really no spark. Although I did enjoy aerobics, I mainly exercised to keep the weight off. And then that race....and most of you know the rest. I have talked about how THE MOST rewarding thing about what I do is how it influences other people in my life to make positive changes in their own lives. Over these ten years, I have witnessed friends and family members walking/running their first races, increasing their activities, and tweaking their diets. My Mom is a great example of this. To be honest, she was less than enthusiastic about my new passion in the beginning. She saw me run myself into major injuries, and then when my CAVM ruptured and I continued to run, she was simply worried sick. Slowly, however, she saw how my physical activity had a positive impact on my recovery, and realized how much this sport had become a huge part of not only my physical, but also my mental, emotional and spiritual health. She saw how happy I was. She decided to start walking. She recently told me, "Now I get it!". It's been tough for Mike an the girls as well. They understandably worry. There is this HHT cloud that hangs over all of this. I know how anxious everyone feels when I'm in the water, and how relieved we ALL are when I get out. It was tremendously difficult saying goodbye and hugging my two crying daughters before my first IM swim. I felt so selfish and wondered why I was putting them through this. Is this worth it? Now they understand. It makes me so happy. To live in fear of what may occur, made all the more real because we happen to KNOW the risks, is not how I choose to live the rest of my life...however long or short it may be. They get it. Rachel did her first Triathlon one week ago. She gets it.

She did so great! I was a wreck!!!! I was racing as well, but I was so worried and excited for her I had a hard time focusing on my own race. She was in wave 4 and I was in 7, so I watched her swim start. I cried. The irony is not lost on me, I just wanted her OUT OF THAT WATER!!! I watched her going around the first turn buoy and she was doing so well! When I got out of my own swim, Coach Blake was there and told me Rachel got out of the water just fine. WHEW!!! Now I could focus and enjoy. I passed her on the bike and she was looking so strong! She saw ME first on the run, and I heard her say, "Hi Mommy!", with her bobbing blond pony tail, I-Pod in her ears...and a HUGE smile! My heart sung. :D It was a successful day for both of us! We had a great time as usual with the team. Have I said how much I love this team? The support they have shown Rachel has been unreal. A few days ago, the Team BBMC newsletter came out and she is the Athlete of the Month!! Blake describes her as "mostly soft spoken". I don't know about that...my ears are still ringing from that first glass shattering scream EVERYONE heard on the night of the fireworks, 23 years ago. :) In one week we will do it again. I am beyond excited for our Door County Triathlon weekend!!!! Rachel will be doing the sprint on Saturday, and I will do the half-IM on Sunday. Rachel will also be doing the bike leg of a relay on Sunday....she will bike 56 miles one day after the sprint! Much of the team will be there...and I will be in my most happy place. :D Enjoy this day!