Welcome 2011!!!

I write this as I sit looking out at the wind stirring up the snow on the lake. It is both beautiful and frightening, a conflict that repeats itself almost daily in my life. A prefect metaphor for the start of a brand new year.
I was reading my last post, since it's been...well...five months, and I'm again reminded of my failed commitment to keep up with this blog. Will this be a resolution to remain current and consistent with my writing? No, I don't believe in New Years resolutions. I will continue, as I always do, to try to improve in all areas in my life that need "tweaking". It's a never-ending process, no matter what the date on the calender reads!
I was brought to tears as I read the end of my last post. Our beloved Jack has been gone for five months already, and indeed time as softened the sadness. However, take away the distractions that a trip to the cabin provides, the sadness comes back, burying through the layers of time and life. I feel this is a good thing though. It's important and healthy to get to a place to remove the muffled barriers and reflect. New Years is a great time to process through the past year(s), get raw and real with the feelings that are produced, learn, grow, and move forward.
The last 5 months of 2010 brought many opportunities to face challenges and ride the roller coaster that is a full and busy life. There were moments of sheer bliss....finishing third in my age group at the Pigman Long Course Triathlon, and watching every one of my girls finish their first GOTR 5k race. I was amazed at how similar my feelings were at the finish line of those very different races. I never thought my basic selfish nature, (The largest area in my life that needs CONSTANT tweaking!), would allow for elation, fulfillment, and sense of accomplishment if it wasn't about me! I am humbled and beyond grateful to learn how wrong I was! :-)
I'm still adapting to my full-time status at work. This has been a bit easier with the addition of Patti, another full time RN!! Thank GOD the district recognized the need and supported her hiring. I can say with complete certainty...I would not have lasted much longer as the sole RN. I'm still really struggling with the day to day challenge of meeting the ever-increasing needs of the students and staff. It truly exhausts me!
There have a few developments just in the past month that have added to what I like to call,"a heavy training block". This is a reference to training loads and periodization in training schedules. I've always felt that training for athletic endeavors parallels life events and circumstance. The difference is...we rarely plan for the type of "training" that the challenges of life can bring, but we can respond similarly. We can focus on rest and recovery...eating and sleeping as well as we can...relying on friends and family to talk through the issues....and just having ONE day to cry/scream/punch pillows/eat 1/2 gallon of ice cream, throw the running shoes accross the room/drink a bottle of wine!!! (Ok, maybe not all one ONE day...;-))
I will write more about the specifics soon. But for today, as I both reflect and look forward, I'm even more committed to look at these opportunities with gratitude. I'm grateful that there is a quantifiable reason for all of the pelvic/hip pain I've been dealing with over the past 15 months. I'm grateful that with today's advances in science and technology, that we were able to find a potential AVM on my spinal cord. I WILL remain hopeful that further studies will prove that there is no reason to worry....and I am so very grateful...at least for this moment...I am relatively symptom free!
But my best reason today for feeling elated, fulfilled, excited, happy, and thankful, is that in 2 days Rachel will start a new adventure at Mystic Aquarium in Connecticut. She will be an intern working with Beluga Wales!!! That we raised a daughter with such intelligence, perseverance, drive, self reliance, and confidence fills this grateful heart to bursting!! The tears flow again.....
Happy New Year! I'm ready for you 2011....BRING IT!!
Enjoy this day!