What I wouldn't give to be able to rewind through the past three weeks and stop, pause, and hang on to Superbowl Sunday. No talk of Governor Walker's budget proposal, collective bargaining, protests, rally's, lay-offs, tea party's, uncertainty, political unrest in Libya, $3.40 per gallon gas prices...etc. Just the 3 P's, family, love, feelings of euphoria, snow angels. Reality has hit in a big way, and I am in a funk.
I am ignorant when it comes to politics. I'll be the first to admit it. It interests me on a minor level and I've placed my vote based on a variety of superficial factors. But my compromised brain can only deal with so much information. It takes all my energy to get through the day to day stuff of life. Politics has never been at the top of that list. Given the recent happenings here in Madison and around the world that past two weeks, these issues have jumped a few rungs up the life ladder. And it has put me into a seemingly unavoidable funk.
I HATE conflict and have spent my entire life trying to avoid it. I've gotten very good at distancing myself from negative feelings. It is a coping mechanism that I've perfected in response to some pretty life-altering events that have occurred. But the reality is, conflict is part of life. It too is unavoidable. I need to get better at dealing with it.
I will not go into my opinion about what is happening in our State. I have been putting more focus and energy into keeping up with what is going on...and boy am I LEARNING!! And it's looking like the majority of the people in my life may be directly impacted in a negative way. The tension at work has been so thick and the conversations have been filled with emotion, anger and anxiety. For me personally, I know the decisions that are made will affect me. I'm not sure how yet, so I'll wait and see. I will just continue to work hard and take care of my kids and staff to the best of my ability. I've been through some rough stuff, and I will be ok. But for now, I am feeling very sad. I'm sad about the strain this has put on relationships between friends, between family members, between co-workers, between marriages. I am shocked and disheartened, by what I've witnessed, what I've read, and what I've heard from some of my favorite, most-loved people in my life. I'm just not sure what to do with the jumbled mess that is my heart right now.
So I've reflexively turned to hammering it out in training. A songwriter turns to music, a novelist turns to writing, an alcoholic turns to liquor, and I move. Interestingly, I've had a great two week block of training despite the stress, or maybe it's because of it. We've ramped up the running in preparation for the Green Bay Marathon, which is only 10 weeks away! I've been biking and swimming 3x weekly, running 3-4, and going to TRX twice a week. I am THANKFUL my body is feeling so good, for the moment anyway!
What's going on in the world will play itself out, and it's consequences have yet to be realized. I just hope and pray that the potential damage to the relationships between friends, co-workers, and family from this political fall out will not be irreversible.
Take some time to enjoy this day, and each other!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
We need to take it one day at a time for we never know what the next minute will bring whether it involves politics or not. I am faced with loosing one of the best friends I have ever had but yet again very blessed that she came into my life 23 years ago. But I will face it when it happens and life will go on. Like you said, you have faced a lot in your life and still you keep pushing ahead. We have to - that is what life is all about. Hills and valleys. Like I said before, when I read your blog listening to you pour our heart out you give me the inspiration that we have to keep moving - we can only do it for ourselves. You know it one way and I another. I have had big losses these past few years and I will have more. But like my MOM always said "You gotta keep going"". And we will!! :O)
ReplyDelete